Albuquerque! AKA Fic of Corny Title!
by Billiam and Jefferson
Summary: Formerly Yu-Gi-Mon!, now just Yu-Gi-Oh!-based. The crew takes a trip...to Albuquerque! This won't end well, will it?


A/N: We decided the Pokémon half wasn't going anywhere and chapter one worked fine with just Yu-Gi-Oh!, so here it is.  
  
Disclaimer: Nope, don't open em.  
  
In Kaiba's Mansion..  
  
Kaiba: Okay, I'm leaving on my conveniently scheduled very long trip now. Adios! leaves  
  
Mokuba: But what if the guards come again?! A bunch of guards come and grab Mokuba Ah! Save me Seto!  
  
Kaiba: Has headphones on You can run, you can hide, but you can't escape my love...  
  
Meanwhile at some bar.  
  
Keith: Drunkenly walks up to a women hey hooker, I'll give you 500 to do what you do!  
  
Mai: Huh? Well I tell you wha-KEITH?!  
  
Keith: MAI?!  
  
Long silence.  
  
Keith: This is awkward  
  
Mai: Tell me about it.  
  
Keith: So...500 enough?  
  
Mai: I'm not sleeping with you, you stupid American imbecile!  
  
Keith: Ohh...  
  
Mai: Let's go to Albuquerque!  
  
Keith: Whoo-hoo! It's Whore-Town there!  
  
Mai: Sigh You have problems, Keith.  
  
Back at the Kaiba mansion...  
  
Mokuba: OW! OW! MY FACE! You don't HAVE to hit me!  
  
Big Five Dude: Sure we do!  
  
Big Five Dude 2: Whoa, is that even legal?  
  
Big Five Dude 3: Is THAT even possible?  
  
Kemo: Ah shaddap, ya foo.  
  
Mokuba: Your hair looks like Jimmy Neutron's you deep-voiced freak!  
  
Kemo: HOW DARE YOU! Thud, thud, thud  
  
Meanwhile in a taxi, headed to an airport  
  
Kaiba: Mokuba senses tingling..,. TOO THE TROPHY CASE!  
  
Taxi Driver: Puts in a CD for 'By the Way' by the Red Hot Chili Peppers.  
  
Kaiba: Oh crap... Picks up a cell-phone and goes on AIM Yugi, Joey...help...kidnapped  
  
Meanwhile...  
  
Joey: Hahaha! Kaiba makes too many jokes. Look at this. Shows the cell phone aim message to Yugi  
  
Yugi: Hahaha Hahaha! That IS funny!  
  
[Aim Message]: I'M NOT JOKING YOU IDIOTS!  
  
Joey: Types in a message Sure, funny, Kaiba.  
  
Meanwhile...  
  
Taxi Driver: Now, you're going to see it all...  
  
Kaiba: NO! You wouldn't!  
  
Taxi Driver: Yes...now you see...my Fire Dance! Takes out two sticks with fire sticks and starts to dance Muka laka howiwai, muka laka howiwai, muka laka howiwai...  
  
Kaiba: NO! Types in message Help...witnessing...fire dance.  
  
Joey: Gasp! Kaiba wouldn't joke about THAT!  
  
Yugi: He's telling the truth! Let's go!  
  
Both jump in a car, Joey starts to drive  
  
Yugi: Wait, we can't drive!  
  
Joey: Ah, who cares?!  
  
Meanwhile, at...some place.  
  
Rex Raptor: Hey, look at this!  
  
Weevil: What?  
  
Rex: It's a letter from my uncle. He says "Albuquerque dinosaur-nut show to start soon, don't come, you failure." WHAT?! WELL I'LL SHOW YOU AND YOUR FANCY Does the quotation thing "FOSSILS"! Grabs Weevil C'mon Weevil, we're going to Albuquerque!  
  
Weevil: Wait, my larva are beginning to hatch!  
  
Rex: Rolls eyes What-ever.  
  
Weevil: Hey, my cousin Bugsy lives in Albuquerque! We can visit him!  
  
Rex: Not that freak. He wears really short shorts.  
  
Weevil: So? The whole family wears that for four months a year. I do, too.  
  
Rex: I'm not even gonna BEGIN to comment on how wrong that is! I thought he lived in Johto!  
  
Weevil: He moved when they kicked him out of the Johto Gym Leaders association for wearing short shorts.  
  
Rex: Justice is served. Let's go. They leave  
  
Back in the taxi.  
  
Kaiba: going insane Save....me.....Jebus..... Yugi and Joey's car roars up next to them Bout time!  
  
The driver is driving away with Kaiba locked in.  
  
Joey: Driving towards the taxi Kaiba! Jump in!  
  
Kaiba: Ok! Smashes the window open and jumps towards the side  
  
Driver: NO YOU DON'T! Starts to swerve left and right  
  
Yugi: Jump in, Kaiba!  
  
Kaiba: YES! Jumps towards the car, doesn't make it this won't end well.  
  
The taxi goes below 50 miles an hour and explodes. Kaiba flies in the window.  
  
Yugi: Oooooo-kay...  
  
Bakura: Running in the street. Several cars crash trying not to hit him Hey! Guys, help me out!  
  
Kaiba: Let's get him.  
  
Yugi: No, he's a friend!  
  
Joey: I say not. Majority wins! Plus, I'm driving. Joey turns the car and starts driving after Bakura  
  
Bakura: AH! Starts to run fast  
  
They chase Bakura in to a plane, conveniently headed for Albuquerque  
  
Kaiba: ...Now why didn't WE take that plane?  
  
Yugi and Joey: Shrug  
  
The car runs in to the cargo hold, while they're talking.  
  
Back at Duke Devlin's .  
  
Duke Devlin: I'm such a good looking guy, I'll let the first person to come in here go on a date with me in Albuquerque!  
  
Rebecca: Enters I'm here to buy Dungeon Dice Monsters.  
  
Duke: Oh for God's sake...Well, I always said that when this happened, I'd take two morons with me to Albuquerque...  
  
Téa and Tristan enter  
  
Téa: We felt as though someone called our names.  
  
Long pause  
  
Duke: Ah screw it, we're going to Albuquerque.  
  
Rebecca: So where are we going on our date, Dukey? Hooks arms with Duke  
  
Duke: How DO I get myself into these things? Let's go. Jumps into a car, the others follow and they drive off  
  
Laterish, at the airport...  
  
Raptor: Come on Weevil, let's go!  
  
Weevil: Dragging a heavy suitcase Wait up!  
  
Rex: Oh for Pete's sake... Walks over towards Weevil and tries to pull the suitcase, failing What do you have in here, rocks?  
  
Weevil: So what if I do?!  
  
Rex: A bug flies out ...it's not rocks, is it?  
  
Weevil: No...  
  
Rex: You're a HORRIBLE liar!  
  
Weevil: I know I am, but what are you?  
  
Rex: A HORRIBLE liar--hey, wait a minute!  
  
Both: Get struck by dice Ow!  
  
Duke: Quit holding up the line, Dumb and Dumber!  
  
Tristan: He and Téa are carrying Rebecca and Duke's bags Yeah, these are heavy! Dice hit them  
  
Both: Ow!  
  
Rex and Weevil: Grumble and head in the plane  
  
Duke: Idiots today... He, Rebecca, Téa, and Tristan, head in to the plane.  
  
Meanwhile, on the plane.  
  
Keith: Please?  
  
Mai: No.  
  
Keith: Please?  
  
Mai: No.  
  
Keith: Please?  
  
Mai: No!  
  
Keith: Please?  
  
Mai: For the last time, I WON'T pay for your Hamtaro plushies!  
  
Keith: Whines Ohh...Gives a cashier some money  
  
Mai: Shouldn't we get to the plane?  
  
Keith: We ARE on the plane.  
  
Mai: A Hamtaro plush store on a plane...? What's this world coming to?  
  
Para: I say we go to Albuquerque.  
  
Dox: Yes, it's better than eating turkey.  
  
Para: Is that your best rhyme?  
  
Dox: The best one at this time.  
  
Para: Say, why do we speak in rhymes all the time?  
  
Dox: Shrugs Beats me.  
  
Para: Screw rhymes! I say no more rhyming ever again!  
  
Dox: Now let's have our meal of Cornish hen--d'oh!  
  
Para: They serve Cornish hen on planes?  
  
Dox: Sadly.  
  
Croquet: We are now leaving the airport to go to Albuquerque. Thank you for flying on Pegasus Airlines.  
  
Yugi, Joey, Kaiba, Bakura, Rex, Weevil, Duke, Rebecca, Tristan, Téa, Mai, Keith: Did you say Pegasus?  
  
Croquet: No, I didn't, and stop talking in unison.  
  
Yugi, Joey, Kaiba, Bakura, Rex, Weevil, Duke, Rebecca, Tristan, Téa, Mai, Keith: Ok, we won't ever talk in unison again.  
  
Croquet: I said stop talking in unison!  
  
Yugi, Joey, Kaiba, Bakura, Rex, Weevil, Duke, Rebecca, Tristan, Téa, Mai, Keith: We did.  
  
Croquet: And oh yeah, this is one way, meaning the plank will explode 20 minutes after it lands.  
  
Yugi, Joey, Kaiba, Bakura, Rex, Weevil, Duke, Rebecca, Tristan, Téa, Mai, Keith: You SUCK!  
  
Croquet: Gr...they don't pay me enough for this...  
  
Yugi: So...what are we supposed to do WHEN we get to Albuquerque?  
  
Joey: Let's play some Duel Monsters form of another game!  
  
Kaiba: Beat other duelists with insane power!  
  
Bakura: NOT be picked on! Is hit by two dice Ow!  
  
Rex: Do some Dino-Dueling!  
  
Weevil: Collect some bugs, like the green one with blades on its arm!  
  
Rebecca: Go on a date!  
  
Devlin: suicide.  
  
Tristan: Get some food!  
  
Téa: Let's go make out!  
  
Mai: Win some money and go to a spa, duh!  
  
Keith: Find some Albuquerque whores!  
  
Yami Yugi: Comes out of the Puzzle Become King of Games all over again!  
  
Yami Bakura: Comes out of the Ring Rob some banks!  
  
Yugi: ...Uh...yeeeaah...  
  
Para: Not make rhymes when we talk!  
  
Dox: I would much rather go for a walk--d'oh!  
  
Meanwhile, in Albuquerque...  
  
Ash: I smell something...  
  
Brock: I smell it too...it's kind of a smelly smell...  
  
Misty: Whoops, sorry.  
  
Ash: Not that kind of smell!  
  
Brock: I smell it though...I smell...A SHORT GUY WITH A SPIRIT!  
  
All: AHHHH!  
  
Gary: Wait, so the Pokémon Crew is being run out of Albuqeurque just so the Yu-Gi-Oh! crew can have a Fic there?  
  
Ash: Yeah, we're old news. It ain't right, we were here first. But I guess we'll just go then.  
  
Brock: Well, we're still cooler than those guys. Except Tracey.  
  
Tracey: Oh screw you.  
  
Next Time:  
The Yu-Gi-Oh! crew arrives in Albuquerque! And the Pokémon Crew is still angsty about it! 


End file.
